Easter is approaching. That means it is time to dye eggs. For us that means getting a bunch of kids together to dye about 400 eggs (more or less). We dye them for a local egg hunt, not to eat them all. Of course, we don’t plan ahead and boil the eggs the day before. We set up boiling stations outside, wait until about 8 p.m. to get started boiling and meanwhile work on drinking beer.

While the adults were outside boiling eggs all the kids were inside running rampant. Something happens to a group of children when there are no adults around. I saw a glimpse when I had to go in the house to get another pan from the kitchen. One girl had the kitten and was running. Several others were running up and down the hall. Some were making loud noises. Some were crouched next to the dog crate. All the candy and cookies had been devoured. I made a quick exit with my pan reminding them not to let the kitten get out. “You know that show about the feral children?” I asked Liza, when I finally made it back to the boiling station. She just laughed.

Eventually we had a batch of hard boiled eggs. Only a few of them broke. Those I threw out by the fruit trees before I realized that the dogs would eat them all and then they would fart. Oh, well. We worked on boiling eggs and cooling them and got the children started on a cooperative (mostly) effort in dying the eggs. Dying eggs requires at least one bossy girl so this worked out just fine. For a short time the sexes separated. Leaving the girls to do the work of dying eggs the boys ran out to the woods to be wild. This lasted until it began to rain. The boys then returned. Some of them to help and some of them to stand around asking when the hot dogs would be done.

The children were cooperative most of the time and got most the the eggs dyed without breaking them. The adults females stood under the canopy boiling eggs and drinking beer. The adult males had long since vanished to go to the tavern to play darts. We had to stand under the canopy due the the downpour on our egg boiling event although we still had a fire going in the pit. Then it happened:  one little boy was fooling around and a cup of dye spilled on one little girl.

Notice how the older boy standing looks somewhat disturbed. He looks to be thinking something like, “oh…this isn’t going to be good.” He knows this because he has a sister. The girl with the green dye on her shirt looks like maybe a demon got inside her but really it is from the flash. Demon or no she looks to be thinking, “MY SHIRT! I smell like pickles now!” And then:  “MOM!!!!!!!!” Mother and daughter disappeared to the house to clean and dry the damaged clothing. The other children continued dying eggs.

When they left a bit early I worried that the poor girl might be traumatized by this event at our house and never want to come back. I later learned that she is fine and would like to come back sometime to play with the dogs. No mention of the other children.

Recipe:

There is not recipe for boiling eggs outside on propane burners in a downpour. It is necessary to wing it. However, if I were to make a recipe it may go something like this:

• way more eggs than the egg-hunting kids will ever eat
• several packages of egg dye tablets
• at least one bossy girl (to keep order in the egg-dying event)
• several propane burners
• several large pots
• hose for water
• canopy in case it rains (because you know it will)
• cooler full of beer and ice
• 2 bottles of vodka (you will see them on the table)
• bags of chips
• hot dogs (be sure not to cook these until after 10 p.m. when everyone is starving)

Disclaimer: I wasn’t sure if I should put this entry under “booze news” or “food and recipes” or if I should make a new category. Sorry for any confusion. Also, photos have been altered to protect the identities of innocent (and not so innocent) children.